Needless to say I didn’t do well for week 1… I blame the damn hurricane and the fake news media for blindly covering up the facts that teams are shaving off points with they razors to win games and win money for their players.
But alas, I have no way to prove that (Rickilakes), but Obama Assange is locked away somewhere in Ecuador or Mideastern Korea and can’t help me prove that I actually won all those games I picked last week.
So this week, I’m using a lie detector test AND a quart of brake fluid. Let’s do this! WOOHOO!
Friday Night Super Game Win Money Special – Marshall @ Boise State (-11) – Take the big bet and go all out on Boise State. Hank Bachmeier is going for another 400 yard passing game and will herd up the Thundering Herd and make them his…. Well… I want to keep this family friendly… So I’ll refrain from using the term bitch. Boise State 47 Marshall 28
The Revenge Game Of The Century Of The Week Of Forever From Beyond The Dead – Old Dominion @ Virginia Tech (-28.5) – So, last year, Old Dominion beat Virginia Tech 49 to 35… Virginia Tech just lost to Boston College, and are still favored over a team they lost to last year by 4 touchdowns… Vegas has lost they damned minds… Virginia Tech 38 Old Dominion 21
Vanderbilt @ Purdue (-7) – Two teams that lost… Purdue lost to Nevada… Vanderbilt lost to Georgia… Trying to pick this game is like trying to pick that one stubborn booger stuck up your nose that you can’t reach no matter what the fuck you do. I only added this game to use that analogy. I really have no idea about it. The SEC looks week, but so does the Big Ten… At leat the lower teams do… I’m not making a pick here… Vanderbilt 31 Purdue 34
The Big Ten Fun-a-rama – Army @ Michigan (-22.5) and Cincinnati @ Ohio State (-16.5) – BIG TEN… BIG TEN… BIG TEN… Is what they used to call me in high school until they found out it was only 5… Take Michigan and Ohio State and give the points. Army 17 Michigan 42 – Cincinnati 17 Ohio State 38
Texas A&M @ Clemson (-17.5) – JUMBO FISHING always put up a fight with Florida State against Clemson. He’s gotta be ready again. Trevor Lawrence looked like a normal human being against Georgia Tech. Texas A&M is SEC BABY!!! ALL SEC ALL THE TIME!!! Except pick Clemson… Clemson 42 Texas A&M 17
New Mexico State @ Alabama (-55) – I bought a New Mexico State shirt for this one… I feel this is the time Nick Saban lets his team down and they fall to a much weaker team… New Mexico State 6 Alabama 56… Pick NMSU and the points… Slicky Nicky ain’t one to run up the score beyond 40….
LSU @ Texas (+6) – Joe Burrow vs. Sam Ehlinger… Two Heisman candidates, week 2… SEC SEC SEC… LSU 31 Texas 21
Tulane @ Auburn (-18) – Take Tulane and the points… Trust me… Auburn 30 Tulane 20
PAC 12 GAMES OF LEGENDS OF HEROES OF ALL MIGHTY HE MAN ROARS – California @ Washington (-14) & Stanford @ USC (-1) – Washington should be able to take down Cal by 2 touchdowns… Stanford/USC will be a fun yet very boring game… Washington 46 California 28 – Stanford 24 USC 21
100% Million Dollar Pick Of The Week: UAB @ Akron (9.5) – UAB 30 Akron 17
Upset Pick Of The Week – Buffalo @ Penn State (-29.5) – Penn State 38 Buffalo 21
Straight Up Upset – Syrcause @ Maryland (-2) – Syracuse 34 Maryland 28
Last Weeks Record – I was perfect but the government screwed me!!!
